A Foreigner's Guide on How To Leave a Good First Impression in North America

Iris He

When I was transferred from a Chinese school to an American school at the age of 16, I was always worried that I did not show enough courtesy due to cultural differences. Since then, I have been paying close attention to the factors that bring a good first impression. I believed that this simple step could increase the chance of building a long-term friendship.

A good first impression can enhance the prospects of connecting with people and increase self-esteem. Although most people know that first impressions are important, the diversity of people’s culture, profession, personality and many other factors often leads to misunderstanding of friendliness and makes things more complicated. Here are some simple ways of showing good manners when you first meet someone in North America.

1. Smell good, but not too good Although different people have different preferences for odours, few people like to have long conversations with irritating or annoying scents. Brush your teeth or chew a gun if you ate pungent food and avoid meeting people directly after gym. Sometimes, when we try to please people by using perfume, it may also have the opposite effect because perfume has a strong odour and may be irritating if it is overused. Personally speaking, the best way to have a pleasant smell is to take a shower in advance. A quick shower using your favourite shampoo and shower gel not only gives you a good smell, it also refreshes your mind and prepares you for the coming social event.

2. Be on time In the first meeting, arriving on time indicates your respect to others. Even if the person you see may be late, waiting for a short period of time in exchange for a long-term relationship is always worth doing. My trick of arriving punctually is to record the event on my Apple Calendar in advance and set an alert for 15 or 30 minutes before the event (depending on the time to commute). [more tips on being punctual]

3. Smile Smiling is the first step of impressing others. It demonstrates the friendliness and happiness in getting along with people. It also makes your guest feel comfortable and creates a warm environment for further development of your relationships. [Feel too nervous to smile? Click here to practice a perfect smile!]

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou

4. Positive Attitudes Informing your guest of how happy you are seeing him or her is a plus in building positive relations. In the U.S. and Canada, phrases like “Nice is nice to see you," “lovely to meet you” or “pleased to see you” work in all situations when you first meet someone. If you have other connections with the person, you can also say “I have heard great things about you! These expressions relieve the tension in the air and shorten the distance between you and your guest. [tips on greeting people in various situations]

These advice are from my experiences as an international students living in North America in the past four years. Sometimes it seems terrifying when we meet strangers from distinct cultural backgrounds, but calm down and just be yourself! I hope this guide helps you enjoy your next conversations with a new friend. Don’t forget that when you are nervous, the other may be feeling the same too!

*This blog was originally written for the class Writing the Internet at McGill University

Iris He